i used to mod on the ayahuasca forum years ago and there was quite a bit of talk about people having serious anxiety and depression. people having had taken medication for years totally no longer needing it.
i am curious if people have similar stories?
if you have had serious depression and anxiety cured by ayahausca and or ayahuasca in combination with traditional curanderismo talk about it here.
im interested.
i am curious if people have similar stories?
if you have had serious depression and anxiety cured by ayahausca and or ayahuasca in combination with traditional curanderismo talk about it here.
im interested.
posted by:
|
Washington
|
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Sat, March 15, 2008 - 2:53 PMalthough it would be difficult for me to distinguish between the benefits for me of buddhist practice and drinking ayahuasca in ceremony i can say without any doubt that the clearing and cleansing that occurred with aya was very healing for my mind as well as my body. i think with both practice and aya that the imprints, conditioning, traumas, etc. are burned away, that it lends to a kind of spiritual liberation that leaves one with an authentic self. old or hindering energies can be released with aya. and asking aya with clear intent i imagine is very beneficial for clearing away the afflicting energies.
-
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Sat, March 15, 2008 - 4:26 PMi have exp'd the medicine a number of times (not in a couple of yrs) and the 2nd time i participated in a ceremony i asked aya for no more depression. not long after my inner prayer began i felt an intense energy drive through me and within minutes i was in tears.........i didn't stop crying until the next morning when the ceremony ended. there were times that my tears were heavier than others and times when they were lighter....i think that ceremony was the most powerful exp i have had with a plant source.....
i am and was also at the time a huge devotee of yoga. these two combinations have put me on the healthiest path....
i long to return to another ceremony......i long to have more healing......i love aya......she is wonderful.....she will give you what you need....
much love,
breath
-
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Sat, March 15, 2008 - 4:53 PMGreetings, Lightning. The lore around the use of Ayahuasca as a means for treating depression and drug abuse is a part of what led me to Peru. That and Terrence McKenna :)
I can say without doubt that Ayahuasca has helped in dealing with my depression. I would like to note, however, that it was not Ayahuasca alone that has provided these benefits. I had had had experiences with ayahuasca before traveling to Peru, however the experiences I had in the states pale in comparison with the personal breakthroughs that descended upon me during my time in Peru. The Curanderos I've found work very hard in directing the healing power of the vine. I feel that having an enlightening guide in ceremony is a key aspect of the potential for healing held within the vine. -
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Sat, March 15, 2008 - 5:24 PMyes i have had that experience with both cactus and aya -
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Sat, March 15, 2008 - 7:17 PMi remmeber a freind of mine in the NAC told me prayer meeting with peyote cured his depression as well...
sounds like daily practices along side of ayahausca has helped alot of people.
from what i recall there where many people who had clamied that working with ayahausca intensively on thier own for awhile ended it for them as well...
any one else feel they have been cured by ayahuasca of anxiety and depression problems? -
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Sat, March 15, 2008 - 10:41 PMOh yeah. Sin duda. -
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Sun, March 16, 2008 - 2:31 AMi think it is certainly possible for the vine to show the way to healing depression and anxiety.
just getting to know how to go through the little death and letting go has helped me deal with alot in life, i can imagine that it woudl be helpful with seeing anxiety from a different perspective as well. and quite possible that anxiety would surface when faced with such death, so therefore coming face to face with it and going through it might break it apart some. might take a few face to face encounters before it gets shattered but still it is certainly possible i reckon. -
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Tue, March 18, 2008 - 6:16 AM"just getting to know how to go through the little death and letting go has helped me deal with alot in life"
velvetsiren, there's a lot of wisdom in what you say. if we can face death and release our attachments to this world (and let's face it, we all have to at some point, right?) then what would we have to fear or be saddened by? in fact how sweet (and poignant) life is then.
i suspect you have brought wisdom into this life and no doubt it will comfort you on your journey.
-
-
-
-
-
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Sun, March 16, 2008 - 2:37 AMI was diagnosed with endogenous depression about 13 years ago. I was put onto two anti-depressant drugs in combination. This combination helped me cope, but suppressed many things that I feel make one human, like sex-drive, emotions in general etc. I read about ayahuasca in National Geographic, the famous article, and decided to try it. We planned our trip to Peru for a year, and I started tapering the dosis of my medication immediately. I stopped with medication about 2 months before our trip, but continued with therapy.
My therapist is a great person, who acts more as a mentor. He knew about my trip and was quite intrigued by the idea (not endorsing it straight -out because of clauses in professional psychotherapy rules where I come from (South Africa).
Initially it was difficult leaving the medication. My five ceremonies were intense and difficult, but I can state that it most definitely cured my depression. Since then I take no medication except for some multi-vitamins. I am continuing with my mentor, and this has helped me as well to digest and integrate a lot of the experiences I had while on my trip. My therapist was intrigued by the changes ayahuasca brought on for me.
Outlook on life changed dramatically for my Girlfriend and I after this trip. We are moving to South America permanently this year, and re-aligning our life focus.
It is one of the most profound events in my life so far. I can't wait to further explore my unconcious self in the coming years.
Anyway, that was my experience. Thanks to ayahuasca!
Shmer -
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Sun, March 16, 2008 - 12:02 PMshmer thats my cats name lol...
funny...
thats a prefect example of what i was hoping to hear about.
i work in the mental health field and i see alot of bi-polars and depression cases in their most acute forms... i feel ayahuasca would do 100 times more help then how wee are treating them now... -
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Sun, March 16, 2008 - 12:33 PMVery sadly, were this to become a popular treatment, Aya the drug companies would squash Aya use, especially since they couldn't patent it. -
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Sun, March 16, 2008 - 12:56 PMthey could never patent the curandero though...
they tried to patent ayahausca before but failed... it belongs to the amazonian people. -
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Sun, March 16, 2008 - 12:58 PMi can say ive retained the benifits of every medicine ive ever taken... and i never drank while in peru... i drink at home... -
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Sun, March 16, 2008 - 1:11 PMalso it seems your question is whether or not one would have to keep taking ayahausca over and over again in order to maintain the benefits of not having anxiety and depression... there could be worse things for sure if one did have to... that and it makes you look at that phrase "have too"...
people take mood stabilizers and antidepressants and even antipsychotics and get addicted to anti anxiety medications like ativan (a benzo) get their quality of life and even length of life reduced by these just to feel some what stable... which is just a little less then a bummer then not being on them at least its manageable... where as if one "has to" keep drinking ayahuasca to be well your not just getting a pharmacological action in the brain chem, your getting that but your also getting an education... spiritual fulfillment and healing, personal growth your subjective relationship with the plant replaces the pills and the therapist. it doesn't become a med regiment but a fulfilling path of wellness that must be maintained either by continuing to drink ayahausca or by following its instructions... the plant itself might tell you to stop drinking it and to just do tai chi and get acupuncture done... but every one has to do personal maintenance some people more then others... so whether that includes "having to" take meds or "having to" participate in the constant path of cleansing and healing and growing i would take th latter...
"having to" work with ayahausca to keep depression and anxiety away seems like "having to" take a shower to keep from getting a rash ; )
its that continuous process of cleaning we all have to take part in to be well...
-
-
-
-
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Sun, March 16, 2008 - 12:55 PMShmer -
Since that first trip to Peru, and the ceremonies you took part in, did you need to continue using ayahuasca for the effect to last? Or were those five ceremonies enough to completely 'cure' you?
I guess I ask because it seems that for so many people whose lives have been changed like this by the plant, one of the end results appears to be a desire to partake in the ceremony as often as possible. Perhaps my opinion is skewed since most of my information comes from following the dialogue on this forum, which comes from a very small group of people who are probably the most dedicated to the experience. One can probably assume that the Times writer and the National Geographic writer more or less returned to day to day life. But then the question is still unanswered whether or not they retained the benefits of their experiences.
Either way, your story is an encouraging one. Thanks. -
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Sun, March 16, 2008 - 3:02 PMHello Adam,
In my opinion people try to go back as many times as they can because in this world, with so many unanswered questions, we find in the Ayahuasca a spring of knowledge the size of the universe. But it also varies from person to person. Some will enter the path and become regular practitioners, some will become lifetime healers, some will go back on a year basis, and so forth. Everyone has a rhythm.
I also had my part of depression and anxiety when I first met the Ayahuasca, and what it did to me was to give me the necessary experience to walk by myself. What makes people go back is because they feel good with the possibility to become better people. If you are dedicated enough to learn and listen to the teachings you can go further, in a lifetime learning process that does not accept shortcuts. That’s why I regard these sacraments not as drugs, but “sacraments”. Each step of the way is earnestly walked, this way being engraved in your soul forever, by the sweat of your efforts, trials, mistakes and successes. There is no way to forget it.
Drugs take you to places that you didn’t earn, like buying a shuttle ticket. You will land eventually (when your fare expire). That’s why people get addicted; trying to go back by any means, and why they forget what they saw. It is a depressing and self destructing state of illusion.
This is what makes the Aya experience so revealing, spiritual and gratifying, day after day, and even if you don’t have a chance to have it for years you will never crave it, because the teachings you brought home with you, as you put them into practice by yourself. What remains is this respect that will drive you –- or not –- to have it again in the future, following your own pace and will.
I had it regularly for seven years (I met Aya in the 80s’), sometimes for two weeks in a row, having just a few breaks in between, but for the last year I only had it for a handful of times. Did I forget it all? No, because I walked the process and I know every rock of the way. When things get rough, I know my old patterns that try to kick in, but I also know the lessons learned. It is a fair combat now, and it is up to me to steer the boat into the right direction.
I will resume my practices in the due time, although I “practice” it every day, without the sacrament, because the teachings are real, and they remain. That’s the beauty of it, in my opinion. Otherwise it would be just an illusory state, which is not the case of Ayahuasca.
Peace, -
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Sun, March 16, 2008 - 3:09 PMcorrection -- I met the Aya in mid 90's (not 80's).
peace
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Sun, March 16, 2008 - 6:44 PM>Drugs take you to places that you didn’t earn, like buying a shuttle ticket.
>You will land eventually (when your fare expire).
>That’s why people get addicted; trying to go back by any means,
>and why they forget what they saw.
Thank you for your answer, Rodrigo, that's sort of exactly where I was going with this.
I found it fortuitous that you use the word "earned," as coincidentally I read this last night:
"(Drugs) carelessly offer anyone and everyone what has always been looked upon as the recompense of saints, wise men, and the just - the summum bonum that man can attain here on this earth: a vision, a glimpse of perfect harmony." - Octavio Paz
I posted a quote here before (which I wrongly attributed to one of the Beats) from Arthur Koestler, spoken to Leary after his first acid trip: "I solved the secret of the universe last night, but this morning I forgot what it was."
My question is not one of skepticism, but mere curiosity. With other hallucinogenic experiences, I am with Koestler, although I personally don't mind getting a glimpse at the universe's secrets once in a while, even if I don't wake up with Cliff's Notes in hand. I myself have yet to experience ayahuasca, although I am hoping to do so soon.
In fact, I should be candid, my question is borne of more than curiosity. In all of my experiences with hallucinogens, that "forgetting" has been a common thread. Why do we experiment with this stuff at all, if not for that "glimpse of perfect harmony?" As I sit here and type those words, I understand exactly what I mean by that; I can almost see it in my mind's eye, almost feel it in my body. To some extent, of course I have retained some of what I discovered on the other side of that door. That door never shuts completely once it has been opened. But afterwards, that "morning after," the disconnect between that world and the knowledge gained there, and the present, here-and-now world feels far enough apart still that sometimes the value of the journey might not be worth the cost of the trip.
What draws me to someone like Ram Dass over a lot of other thinkers on these matters is that he talks about the importance of bringing what you learn in those hallucinogenic states back to your life in the here and now. The physical realm we all inhabit now is a chaotic, unjust one. For those of us that have seen an alternative, that "perfect harmony," it's easy to want to spend as much time there as possible (I think that's where the word "addiction" comes into play, when someone finds a state that feels more comfortable to be in than this one, and does whatever it takes to stay there). For some, experiencing that other realm shows them that what goes on in this one is inconsequential, and therefore unimportant in the grand scheme of things. While that me be the case, the fact of the matter is that this is the realm we do inhabit now, and trying to escape that in any way seems like nothing more than cowardice.
When I first began my journey, I met people (and read articles like the one in National Geographic) who told of a single ceremony or a single trip to Peru at the end which they had overcome major hurdles in their life (e.g. depression) and that was that, more or less. But as I dig further I find that so many of the people who have been touched by ayahuasca do feel compelled to experience it with some kind of regularity. Before I go ahead and drink, I think it's important for me to understand why that is. Are you drawn to the dreamworld you enter under the influence of the plant, or the knowledge you bring with you back into this world?
My journey toward ayahuasca is not a search for a better realm of being than this one. It is a hope that I can find a way to live more fully in this one. -
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Sun, March 16, 2008 - 7:56 PMto alot of animist peoples its enough being a part of the mystery... theres no need to solve it really...; )
"The physical realm we all inhabit now is a chaotic, unjust one. For those of us that have seen an alternative, that "perfect harmony," it's easy to want to spend as much time there as possible (I think that's where the word "addiction" comes into play, when someone finds a state that feels more comfortable to be in than this one, and does whatever it takes to stay there)."
to me thats the problem with non animist thinking trying to relate to animist practices... working with entheogens has primarily been an animist practice, some thing done among animists with the aid of shamans. people who see that the world is chaotic and unjust and that perfect harmony is somethign to escape to are setting themselves up with some serious projections IMHO... animist world views dont think of a trancendant reality jut out side our reach that must be escaped to in order to find wellness, they see that this "chaotic unjust world" is natural, perfect and in it own way harmonious or at least in the constant process of harmonizing and balancing... the point then is to find ways to be a part of that natural balance that is allready in place in the universe not attempt some trancendant egoic grasping or escapism to get away from the messiness that is life... its finding ways to form alligences with the forces that seem so unjust to some, to appreciate life in all its chaotic forms and its lack of perfect greco-roman symmetry.
that comfortable state that people may find themselves addicted to is one of their own escapist imagination and in no way shape or form represents the actual animist cosmologies and shamanic practices and experiences that are traditionaly found in entheogenic practices world round.
they are a product of the western imagination shaping and molding transpersonal experinces which are incomplete and set up subconsciously to support ones egoic nature. entheogens will give this too you if you really ask... spirit will give this too you if this is what your looking for... if your not looking for that you stand a much higher chance of actually getting somthing that can aid life here on earth which is centered grounded and integrated in your daily life...
is it any wonder that those who attempt to escape from this messy thing we call life end up having trouble integrating the "positive" entheogenic experiences they have?
many people who are activly involved in animist and shamanic traditions that work with plants that are entheogenic have a hell of a time... entheogens are no fun at all its a hard and painfull experience which doesnt reveal much perfect trancendant harmony but moves us to find ways of relating to life on lifes terms which seems like a problem for many westernized people.
one of the most scary and horrible experinices of my life was had in an ayahausca ceremony... i had to deal with my fear of death and pain the plant anounced to me... no fun at all, what was revealed to me was the natural order within the messy chaos of life, and the perfection of imperfection, its was painfull and horrible but it gave me a much more balanced perspective... i would never get addicted to the palce it showed me or have an unbalanced relationship with the type of lessons ayahausca teaches me because ive leanred to bee a good paitent and a good student... i am more prone to avoid the cleansing and healing and guidance of ayahausca then be addicted to it because it kicks my unholy living ass and scares the shit out of me most of the time i work with it ( sure some times shes a sweety with a sense of humor but not most of the time)... it is much easier for me to stay dirty and nasty and unhealthy then to do what i need to do to be well with the aid of ayahuasca thats for sure...
people who drink ayahuasca regularly do so for the same reason why people who go to sweat lodges do it over and over again, or go to peyote meetings its a cleansing practice, it can be hard painfull and sometimes scary as hell but its nessecary to be healthy especialy in this toxic western civilization we live in... we are bombarded with enviromental toxins and emotional and psychic toxins every day... toxic ideas and perspectives on life, our eyes ingest poison and our ears daily on the radio and the tv, we are surrounded by mal ojo, mal aire, envidia, celos, odio, miedo, averice, lujuria, and just becasue you get clean of these doesnt mean that your not going to get dirty right after words...
many people do vision quests as well as sweat to get protection so that they do not need to clean themselves off as much so that they can stay sensitive people, some people deita and work on developing an arcana so that they can be protected from all the things that they must cleanse themselves with ayahausca for...
i have to shower every day to stay clean... its no differant then with any practice of cleansing be it ayahuasca, sanpedro, sangado, peyote, sweat lodges or any kinda limpia practice...
get clean get dirty, get clean get dirty... get clean again....pretty easy concept to understand... your not addicted... unless your addicted to showers or sweat lodges?
-
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Mon, March 17, 2008 - 7:17 AMHello Adam,
I remember your Koestler’s quotation in another tread, the reason for me to give you my share of thoughts, but to me -- as I said before -- there is no way to relate one thing to the other. For that matter, go easy on yourself. You will come into terms with your goals, either way you go.
This choice doesn’t need to be that complex and rational; otherwise this path can be also painful. In my opinion the hard passages and self accepted / created traps are many, but as most of us know why we are there -- there is no way to explain it -- everything becomes “fair”.
Dreamworld can be ripped apart and defined by its own word -- “dreamworld”. To make things up belongs to us alone, and it can “jeopardize the brain” -- quoting a shaman. Not really worthy to linger on it.
Blessings,
-
-
-
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Tue, March 18, 2008 - 5:02 AMHi Adam,
well, I did not need to continue using ayahuasca for the effect to last. In fact, I cannot continue taking it as it is unavailable in South Africa. I would need to order the ingredients online and prepare the brew myself, something I am loath to do.
So in short, I would do it again if I had the chance, but there is no necessity or urgency in this.
I think the need to do ayahuasca repeatedly probably is caused by the fact that the ayahuasca experience itself causes such a fundamental shift in many people's conciousness. It does not cause the drinker to want to continue drinking (in my opinion) because of escapism or other negative connotations. For me personally, I would want to continue partaking in ceremony to further my understanding of my unconscious self.
Lastly, even if ayahuasca causes people to want to partake again and again, would that be interpreted as something wrong or sinister? This could be an interesting question. I think looking at some Santo Daime and UDV communities, as well as some of the studies done on the UDV (www.maps.org/ayahuasca/hoasca.html) it would seem as if effects of continuous usage is positive.
Thanks! -
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Tue, March 18, 2008 - 4:52 PMHi everyone,
I went to Peru four months ago for Ayahuasca ceremonies in the Amazon. I drank three separate times on three separate night ceremonies with others. The first and second evenings were with one curandero, whereas the last evening was with three.
I went with the intention of healing physical pains and muscle spasms that resulted six years prior. I'm convinced that my physical symptoms were/are driven by anxiety and depression, hence why I went to Ayahuasca in Peru, so my healing intentions were, to me at least, clear.
The ceremonies proved extremely difficult, and although I picked up on messages that the Yage was giving me regarding my life, I had an extremely difficult time mentally and physically. The curandero had to walk me back to my lodge after the third ceremony, while I was still under the Yage's influence, and perform further ceremonial rites with me sitting on my bed. He later told me that he felt like I was 'playing a game' with myself, considering what a resistantly difficult time I had with the Yage.
In the nearly four months since the ceremonies, however, I've been experiencing a level of anxiety, paranoia, "otherworldliness", detachment from reality, and extreme fear that I've never had before. I came back from the workshop to unemployment and some family troubles, yet I feel that I was made more 'raw' and vulnerable as a result of my workshop in Peru. I now have bouts of extreme fear, uneasiness, worry and, on more than a few occasions, outright panic attacks, that physically rivaled the state I was in within a half hour of drinking the Yage during ceremonies. I was not taking antidepressants or other drugs before or after the Peru workshop.
My Qi Gong yoga instructor says that I definitely "kicked up some [psychic] dust" as a result of drinking the Yage, and needed to ‘land again’. He also recommended that I meditate using CDs that feature binaural beats, as they will supposedly help me 'ground out' by accelerating the benefits of deep, sustained meditation.
Again, the trip to Peru was my first time drinking Ayahuasca. Is what I'm going through now completely unique to you folks? Did anyone else experience what I'm experiencing right now, and if so, for how long?
In the Los Angeles Times Magazine article on Ayahuasca from February 2008, author Graham Hancock was quoted as stating such about the after-effects of the Yage:
"Still, Hancock tempers this praise with a warning. '[Ayahuasca] is extremely powerful,' he says. 'Its effects can be deeply disturbing, and there may be some short-term trauma, almost like a post-traumatic shock disorder, with coming to terms with very disturbing insights about yourself.'"
Am I caught up in the throws of this “post-traumatic shock disorder” that Hancock mentioned?
I quite often feel like I have trouble functioning. Your input will be greatly appreciated, more than you know.
Thanks,
Dan
-
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Tue, March 18, 2008 - 5:42 PMI'm no expert but here is my 2 cents based on what I've read or heard.
Seems like you've dug out some issues partially and left them halfway through. It's not some kind of damage Aya has done to you, but rather unfinished work with Her. Try and accept what's coming to the surface.
Continue your work with Ayahuasca. If it's not an option at the moment, practice meditation or whatever you find helpful. -
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Tue, March 18, 2008 - 11:43 PMits true... some times it like massage therapy you have to go back a few times before the treatment is over...
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Wed, March 19, 2008 - 6:32 AMdan, though i do not claim to be any sort of expert, far from it, i have the same intuition about it as dzikus. if you were in the midst of bringing up or stirring up old negative energies and had to stop i can see how you would be left this way. so now is your oportunity, if you are unable at the moment to continue with aya, to meditate and practice however you are able. indeed ground yourself. keep a journal, keep your space clean and clear, whatever it is you must do but definitely get to work, yes? blessings to you in your efforts to clear out the old energies and discover yourself without them -
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Wed, March 19, 2008 - 12:15 PMMany thanks everyone for your valuable input. Yes, I've been told by some others to revisit the Aya to 'flush' or 'finish' what came up, but honestly, I'm not sure I'm in any state to do that (despite the seeming need). The supervisor of the workshop I attended told me to meditate, as did a friend who partook of the workshop with me. I'll continue to meditate, maybe even with binaural beat CDs, so as to reach some level of clearance. My yoga work should help as well. I've got over 3 decades of 'stuff' to deal with, so no quick fix.
It is also reassuring to hear/read that the Aya did not 'damage' me, but opened up emotional baggage that needs to be finally dealt with. i am a hypochondriac, and thus immediately fear that the brew did something negative to my brain....possibly permanently.
I'm just in an extremely difficult space right now. -
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Thu, March 20, 2008 - 6:15 AMmany blessings to you in your self discovery.
we here in the states are spoiled and lazy in so many ways which means we have farther to go for our clearing and discipline so we obviously chose to be born here for the challenge.
being so inclined to comfort we view our distress or any discomfort as undesirable. yet our moments or periods of discomfort are our blessing. they are our opportunity to move ourselves from one state to the next, to transform, or in which we are transforming. if we learn to accept and understand that the nature of these lives is discomfort (as human beings in this modern unnatural world) and to embrace wherever it is we find ourselves, we become then like masters of our world and can work wioth the energies to facilitate their transmutation.
let's all be grateful for these lives even in moments of strife, for they are precious opportunities. be a warrior of the spirit. go forth in strength. do not bemoan what you are given. be courageous and face yourself utterly, thus masterfully.
many blessings to us all in our journys inward.
-
-
-
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Sat, May 17, 2008 - 1:47 PMHi Dan,
After reading your post i feel compelled to respond, as i've had a similar expereince...i've drank aya a dozen times or so in South America under the guidance of a shaman. My 8th journey was a partricularly "unsettling" one, and after it i felt that rawness you speak of, like the universe has taken a hostlie interest in you, that you could be obliterated any moment. So much so that i really didnt want to do the final ceremony of the week. However, despite my ego's pleas i went ahead with it and had an amazing final journey, just mind-blowing. Howver in the weeks and months that followed i felt the panic and anxiety coming back again. Just that feeling of vulnerability, your mortality seeming so delicate...i realized the reason they call this the "vine of the dead'.
As time passed though, the anxiety faded, and i returned to Brazil for 3 more spectacular journies...i think the time i spent processing my mortality allowed me to go deeper than i ever had before with the plant. Its been 2 years since i've drank, and i feel like a totally different person...my handling of fear has totally changed. So i guess what i'm saying here is give it time, you havent broken anything, just give the plant time to do its work and integrate into your life. Whether you go back and do it again is totally up to you, but she will always be with you. Good luck my friend,
Shel -
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Sun, May 18, 2008 - 4:49 PMI think "giving it time" as you say, is a really good idea, though perhaps "giving it space" allows for the possibility of instantaneous change. "Space" denotes an openness - maybe this is all it takes.
-
-
-
-
-
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Thu, April 3, 2008 - 8:59 PMI've read this thread with a lot of interest. (After lurking for quite a while. Hello, everyone.)
I don't like talking too much about it for fear of portraying myself as some kind of "victim," but I've suffered from clinical depression for years. Recently I've gone off my prescription medication to get in touch with who I am without it. I found myself unable to function, sitting in a corner, wondering why I go on living. (And I hate sounding dramatic here.) The feelings didn't feel like withdrawal, they felt familiar. The sort of feelings I'd battled for years until I went on the prescription drugs and started to build a functioning life.
Now I'm wondering if pursuing ayahuasca might help me. I don't do this lightly. I'm not a stranger to "psychedelic" experiences, and know how powerful they can be, both positively and negatively. But this is an issue in my life I want to grapple with head on before I make the decision to go back on prescription drugs, possibly for life. (In the big picture, I think I do more good in the world being functional on pharmaceuticals than being dark and suicidal without them.)
So I'd like to humbly ask the group for advice. Is there a good way to seek advice on this issue from someone in person? I live in southern California, and if there's a shaman or other knowledgeable person in the area you could recommend, I would be most grateful for the connection.
Many, many thanks! -
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Thu, April 3, 2008 - 10:18 PMi pray you get what you need brother... i work as a therapist in an acute psyche ward, ive seen what your going through and its rough. ayahuasca as well as many other medicines taken in a good way have helped many with these issues. i think that you can find courage knowing that.
blessings
LLB -
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Thu, April 3, 2008 - 10:33 PMtotally. it's really helped me personally with my own psychological issues. more than years of therapy have ever accomplished.
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Sat, April 5, 2008 - 8:23 AMThanks to you and everyone who's written me on and off the list. My challenge now is to find a shaman in southern california who can give me some advice in person. I think I can find one with a little digging. (Though if anyone has any suggestions they want to mail me privately, I'd be most grateful.)
Much gratitude!
-
-
Re: ayahuasca curing anxiety and depression
Fri, April 4, 2008 - 2:01 AMHi Shaft,
as stated above in my post, it most definitely helped for me, after approximately 10 years of depression. I would recommend going to a shaman and having a few sessions.
-
